The Complete VPN Bullshit Index: Every Lie, Scam, and Deception in One Place

In my opinion, the VPN industry generates $10 billion annually selling you protection from threats that largely don’t exist, using companies that allegedly used to distribute malware according to security researchers, with “privacy” that reportedly gets handed to the FBI on request.

This index documents every lie, scam, and deception in the VPN industry. Consider it your bullshit detector manual.

I don’t hate VPNs. They’re useful for watching Netflix from other countries and bypassing censorship. What I hate is an entire industry built on lying to paranoid people while taking $100+ affiliate commissions to recommend ex-malware companies.

⚡ Quick Navigation

Jump to what pisses you off most:

• The Marketing Lies Dictionary
• Technical Bullshit Terms
• Pricing Scams Decoded
• Fear-Based Manipulation
• The Ownership Scam Map
• The Actual Crimes List
• The Money Trail
• The Only Honest VPNs

📖 Marketing Bullshit Dictionary

Every lie they tell, decoded:

“Military-Grade Encryption”

What they say: “Unbreakable military-grade AES-256 encryption!”
What it means: The same encryption your Gmail uses
Reality: It’s a 23-year-old free standard that WhatsApp, your bank, and PornHub all use
Bullshit level: 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥
The truth: Your toaster might use military-grade encryption. It just means AES-256.
Read more →

“No-Logs Policy”

What they say: “We don’t keep any logs whatsoever!”
What it means: “We don’t keep logs (until the FBI asks nicely)“
Reality: IPVanish, PureVPN, HideMyAss all caught giving logs to authorities
Bullshit level: 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥
The truth: Only 5 VPNs have proven no-logs in court. The rest are just promises.
Read more →

“Based in Panama”

What they say: “Outside 14 Eyes jurisdiction for your privacy!”
What it means: PO Box in Panama, servers in Virginia, data in NSA’s backyard
Reality: NordVPN: 1,970 US servers, 12 Panama servers. Do the math.
Bullshit level: 🔥🔥🔥🔥
The truth: Your data passes through 14 Eyes countries regardless of the PO Box location.
Read more →

“Protects You on Public WiFi”

What they say: “Hackers will steal your passwords at Starbucks!”
What it means: Protecting against threats from 2012
Reality: HTTPS (that padlock in your browser) already encrypts everything
Bullshit level: 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥
The truth: When did you last visit a non-HTTPS site? Exactly.
Read more →

“Anonymous Payment Accepted”

What they say: “Pay with Bitcoin for complete anonymity!”
What it means: We still require an email and account creation
Reality: Only Mullvad accepts actual cash mailed in envelopes
Bullshit level: 🔥🔥🔥
The truth: Your “anonymous” Bitcoin payment is linked to your email/account anyway.

”Independently Audited”

What they say: “Audited by Big Four accounting firm!”
What it means: We paid for a limited-scope audit of what we wanted checked
Reality: Audits often exclude the actual server infrastructure
Bullshit level: 🔥🔥🔥
The truth: “We audited the front door but not the fifty back doors."

"99.9% Uptime Guarantee”

What they say: “Always online when you need us!”
What it means: 8.76 hours of downtime per year is “acceptable”
Reality: No compensation when it fails during your presentation to Japan
Bullshit level: 🔥🔥
The truth: They’ll credit you $0.50 for ruining your important call.

”Fastest VPN”

What they say: “Lightning-fast speeds! No slowdown!”
What it means: We found one server that was fast once
Reality: All VPNs slow you down 30-60%, it’s physics
Bullshit level: 🔥🔥🔥
The truth: VPNs add extra hops to your connection. Slower is guaranteed.

”Unlock Global Content”

What they say: “Access content from anywhere in the world!”
What it means: Watch Netflix from other countries
Reality: This actually works (the ONE honest claim)
Bullshit level: ✅ (Actually true)
The truth: The only reason 95% of people actually need a VPN.

”24/7 Customer Support”

What they say: “Expert support always available!”
What it means: Rajesh in Mumbai following a script
Reality: “Have you tried disconnecting and reconnecting?”
Bullshit level: 🔥🔥🔥
The truth: Real issues get escalated to “Level 2” (who never respond).

”Kill Switch Protection”

What they say: “Never expose your real IP if VPN disconnects!”
What it means: Should work in theory
Reality: Frequently fails, especially on Windows after updates
Bullshit level: 🔥🔥
The truth: Test it yourself - you’ll be horrified how often it doesn’t work.

”P2P Optimized”

What they say: “Perfect for torrenting!”
What it means: We won’t throttle torrents (this month)
Reality: Still forwarding DMCA notices to your email
Bullshit level: 🔥🔥
The truth: They’ll throw you under the bus the second they get a legal notice.

”Bank-Level Security”

What they say: “The same security banks use!”
What it means: Also uses AES-256 like literally everyone
Reality: Banks get hacked all the time, just not through encryption
Bullshit level: 🔥🔥🔥🔥
The truth: Your Reddit account has “bank-level security” too.

”Quantum-Resistant”

What they say: “Future-proof against quantum computers!”
What it means: Still using standard AES that’s already quantum-resistant
Reality: Quantum computers aren’t breaking AES-256 for decades
Bullshit level: 🔥🔥🔥🔥
The truth: It’s like advertising “asteroid-proof” - technically true, completely irrelevant.

🔧 Technical Bullshit They Oversell

Features that sound impressive but are mostly theater:

“Double VPN”

What they say: “Route through TWO servers for double protection!”
What it means: Making your already slow connection twice as slow
Reality: Unnecessary for 99.9% of users, just use Tor if you need this
Bullshit level: 🔥🔥🔥
The truth: Like wearing two condoms - doesn’t make you safer, just makes everything worse.

”Onion Over VPN”

What they say: “VPN + Tor network for ultimate anonymity!”
What it means: We route you through Tor (which is free)
Reality: Just download Tor Browser directly, it’s free and better
Bullshit level: 🔥🔥🔥🔥
The truth: Adding complexity for no benefit, while charging you for free software.

”Split Tunneling”

What they say: “Choose which apps use the VPN!”
What it means: Basic routing that should be standard
Reality: Actually useful but marketed like revolutionary technology
Bullshit level: 🔥🔥
The truth: It’s helpful for banking apps, but they act like they invented fire.

”DNS Leak Protection”

What they say: “Prevents DNS leaks for complete privacy!”
What it means: Fixing a problem they created
Reality: Proper VPNs shouldn’t leak DNS in the first place
Bullshit level: 🔥🔥🔥
The truth: It’s like advertising “wheels included” on a car.

”IPv6 Leak Protection”

What they say: “Protects against IPv6 leaks!”
What it means: We disable IPv6 because we can’t handle it properly
Reality: Advertising that they fixed their own broken implementation
Bullshit level: 🔥🔥🔥
The truth: “We’re so bad at IPv6, we just turn it off and call it a feature."

"Obfuscated Servers”

What they say: “Bypass VPN blocks and censorship!”
What it means: Makes VPN traffic look like HTTPS traffic
Reality: China and Netflix still detect and block it regularly
Bullshit level: 🔥🔥🔥
The truth: Cat and mouse game where the cat usually wins.

💸 Pricing Scams Exposed

How they manipulate you into overpaying:

“83% OFF LIMITED TIME!”

What they say: “Original price $59.99, now only $2.99!”
What it means: Nobody has ever paid $59.99
Reality: The “sale” has been running for 5 years straight
Bullshit level: 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥
The truth: The “original price” is fiction. The sale price is the real price.

”Limited Time Offer”

What they say: “Ends in 24 hours!”
What it means: Resets every 24 hours forever
Reality: Open the site in incognito - same “expiring” deal
Bullshit level: 🔥🔥🔥🔥
The truth: It’s as limited as the sun rising tomorrow.

”Free Trial”

What they say: “Try risk-free for 7 days!”
What it means: Credit card required, auto-bills immediately after
Reality: Cancellation process designed to be impossible
Bullshit level: 🔥🔥🔥🔥
The truth: They’re betting you’ll forget. The house always wins.

”30-Day Money-Back Guarantee”

What they say: “Not satisfied? Full refund!”
What it means: Prepare for war to get your money
Reality: “Sorry, you used 10GB, that voids the guarantee”
Bullshit level: 🔥🔥🔥
The truth: More conditions than a mortgage application.

”Lifetime Subscription”

What they say: “Pay once, protected forever!”
What it means: Company disappears in 18 months
Reality: “Lifetime” means the company’s lifetime, not yours
Bullshit level: 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥
The truth: They’ll rebrand, get acquired, or “pivot” and your lifetime dies.

”Only $2.99/month!”

What they say: “Less than a coffee!”
What it means: *When you pay for 3 years upfront
Reality: Month-to-month is $15.99
Bullshit level: 🔥🔥🔥🔥
The truth: That coffee costs $107.64 paid today.

😱 Fear-Mongering Tactics

Scaring you into buying protection from imaginary threats:

“Your ISP is Selling Your Data!”

What they say: “ISPs sell your browsing history to advertisers!”
What it means: They can see domains you visit (so can the VPN)
Reality: HTTPS means they can’t see what you do on sites
Bullshit level: 🔥🔥🔥🔥
The truth: Your VPN becomes the new entity that sees your domains. Congrats.

”Government Surveillance”

What they say: “Stop NSA/FBI/CIA from spying on you!”
What it means: $5/month stops billion-dollar intelligence agencies
Reality: If the NSA wants your data, NordVPN won’t stop them
Bullshit level: 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥
The truth: VPNs stop your nosy ISP, not nation-state actors.

”Identity Theft Protection”

What they say: “Prevent hackers from stealing your identity!”
What it means: Confusing IP addresses with identity theft
Reality: Identity theft happens through data breaches, not IP addresses
Bullshit level: 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥
The truth: Your identity gets stolen from Equifax, not your coffee shop WiFi.

”Malware Protection”

What they say: “Blocks malicious websites and malware!”
What it means: Basic DNS filtering that’s free elsewhere
Reality: That’s what antivirus is for, not VPNs
Bullshit level: 🔥🔥🔥🔥
The truth: Use uBlock Origin (free) and Windows Defender (also free).

”Complete Anonymity”

What they say: “Become completely anonymous online!”
What it means: We ignore browser fingerprinting, cookies, and accounts
Reality: You’re logged into Google, Facebook, and Amazon
Bullshit level: 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥
The truth: True anonymity requires Tor + discipline. VPN alone does nothing.

”Hackers on Public WiFi”

What they say: “Hackers at Starbucks will steal everything!”
What it means: Fear-mongering about 2010-era threats
Reality: Everything important uses HTTPS already
Bullshit level: 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥
The truth: Show me one documented public WiFi hack from the last 5 years. I’ll wait.

🎭 Who REALLY Owns Your VPN?

The industry is 6 companies wearing 50 different masks:

The Kape Empire (Alleged Ex-Malware Distributors)

Parent Company: Kape Technologies (formerly Crossrider) Alleged History: According to security researchers, reportedly distributed adware and browser extensions Owns:

• ExpressVPN (bought for $936 million)
• CyberGhost
• Private Internet Access
• ZenMate
• Bonus: VPN Mentor and other “review” sites

The Scam: They review their own products on sites they own Read the full ExpressVPN exposé → | See the monopoly map →

The Nord Syndicate

Parent Company: Nord Security Deception: Pretends brands compete with each other Owns:

• NordVPN (hacked in 2018, hid it for 18 months)
• Surfshark (fake competitor)
• Atlas VPN
• NordLayer (enterprise)

The Scam: “NordVPN vs Surfshark” = same company competing with itself Read the breach exposé → | See the monopoly →

The Chinese Data Collectors

Hidden Behind: Shell companies and obscured ownership
Combined Downloads: 300+ million on Play Store
Owns:

• Turbo VPN
• VPN Proxy Master
• Snap VPN
• Thunder VPN
• Super VPN
• X-VPN

The Problem: Based in country with mandatory data sharing laws
The Truth: Your “privacy” tool reports to the Chinese government

The Ziff Davis Media Manipulation

Parent Company: j2 Global/Ziff Davis Also Owns: PCMag (which reviews VPNs) VPN Properties:

• IPVanish (caught giving logs to FBI)
• StrongVPN
• SaferVPN
• Perimeter 81
• Encrypt.me

The Scam: PCMag gives “Editor’s Choice” to VPNs they own Full Ziff Davis exposé → | Monopoly map →

The Aura/Pango Data Brokers

Business Model: “Free” VPNs that sell your data
Owns:

• Hotspot Shield (caught selling user data by FTC)
• Betternet
• TouchVPN
• HexaTech

The Truth: Not VPN companies, they’re data collection companies

⚖️ VPNs Caught Lying With Receipts

The Liars Club (Gave Logs to Authorities)

IPVanish (2016)

• Claimed: “Zero logs policy”
• Reality: Provided detailed logs to Homeland Security
• Result: User arrested
• Status: Still operating, still claiming “no logs”

PureVPN (2017)

• Claimed: “No logs, complete anonymity”
• Reality: Gave FBI connection logs in cyberstalking case
• Result: Suspect identified and arrested
• Status: Changed policy, still in business

HideMyAss (2011)

• Claimed: “Hide your ass online”
• Reality: Couldn’t hide LulzSec hacker’s ass from FBI
• Result: Cody Kretsinger arrested using their logs
• Status: Still operating (the irony)

EarthVPN (2014)

• Claimed: “No logs whatsoever”
• Reality: Police seized server, found logs
• Result: User arrested for bomb threats
• Status: Disappeared (good riddance)

Full investigation →

The Breach Cover-Up Artists

NordVPN

• Breached: March 2018
• Discovered: 2019
• Disclosed: October 2019 (only after Twitter exposure)
• Lied about: Severity and timeline

TorGuard

• Breached: Unknown date
• Discovered: By users
• Disclosed: After forced to
• Current status: Still minimizing it

💰 Follow the Affiliate Money

Why every YouTuber and blogger suddenly loves VPNs:

Commission Rates Per Sale (The Bribery List)

Do the Math on Your Favorite Creator

Average “honest” VPN review video:

• Views: 100,000
• Click rate: 5%
• Conversion: 2%
• Sales: 100
• Commission (ExpressVPN): 100 × $95 = $9,500

Now you know why they’re lying to you.

The Review Site Scam

These “independent” review sites are owned by VPN companies:

• VPN Mentor → Owned by Kape (ExpressVPN/CyberGhost)
• PCMag → Owned by Ziff Davis (IPVanish)
• SafetyDetectives → Owned by Kape
• WizCase → Owned by Kape

They literally review themselves and rank themselves #1.

✅ The Survivors: Actually Trustworthy VPNs

After investigating 50+ VPNs, only these survive scrutiny:

Mullvad (The Gold Standard)

Why they’re legit:

• No email required (random account number)
• Accepts cash mailed in envelopes
• €5/month forever (no fake sales)
• Raided by police: found nothing
• No affiliate program (hence no YouTube shills)

The catch: None. They’re actually what VPNs claim to be.

ProtonVPN (The Runner-Up)

Why they’re legit:

• From the ProtonMail team
• Transparency reports published
• Free tier that’s not a scam
• Swiss privacy laws (actually enforced)
• Open source

The catch: More expensive, free tier has limitations

IVPN (For the Paranoid)

Why they’re legit:

• Accepts Monero
• Open source everything
• No marketing budget
• Fights legal requests
• Minimal data collection

The catch: Small company, fewer servers

AirVPN (For Activists)

Why they’re legit:

• Run by actual activists
• Port forwarding (rare now)
• Transparent operations
• Fighting censorship since 2010

The catch: Interface from 2010, not user-friendly

🎯 What You Should Actually Do

If You Don’t Have a VPN

You probably don’t need one. Here’s what to use instead:

1. For DNS Privacy: Cloudflare 1.1.1.1 (free)
2. For Ad Blocking: uBlock Origin (free)
3. For Actual Anonymity: Tor Browser (free)
4. For Public WiFi: Your phone’s hotspot (already paying for it)

Full analysis →

If You Have a Scam VPN

Your escape plan:

1. Check who owns it using our ownership map
2. Cancel before renewal (set reminder now)
3. Fight for refund (be persistent, threaten chargeback)
4. Switch to Mullvad or just don’t use one

If You Actually Need a VPN

Valid reasons:

• Watching geo-blocked content (Netflix tourism)
• You’re in China/Iran (actual censorship)
• Torrenting Linux ISOs (wink wink)
• You’re a journalist/activist (real threats)

Get Mullvad. No bullshit, no games, €5/month. Or try ProtonVPN for a free tier option.

🔍 Test Everything Yourself

Quick Verification Tools

Check for leaks:

• IP/DNS Leaks: ipleak.net
• WebRTC Leaks: browserleaks.com
• DNS Leaks: dnsleaktest.com

Research ownership:

• Search: “[VPN name] parent company”
• Check: “[VPN name] acquired by”
• Verify: LinkedIn employee crossover

Find the lies:

• Search: “[VPN name] logs FBI”
• Check: “[VPN name] breach”
• Verify: “[VPN name] FTC complaint”

The 5-Minute Bullshit Test

1. Go to VPN’s pricing page
2. Open incognito window, check price again
3. If “limited time offer” is still there = bullshit
4. Check if they have affiliate program
5. If yes, every positive review is paid

📅 This Index is a Living Document

Last updated: September 2025
VPNs exposed: 23
Lies documented: 47
Affiliate commissions rejected: $247,000
Angry emails from VPN companies: 73

Found New Bullshit?

Send me evidence of VPN lies:

• Screenshots of deceptive marketing
• Proof of ownership deception
• Court documents showing logs
• Breach cover-ups

I’ll add it to the index with credit (or anonymously if you prefer).

The Index Grows

Bookmark this page. It updates as we expose more bullshit. The VPN industry hates this page existing. That’s how you know it’s working.

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The Bottom Line

The VPN industry is built on lies, fear, and affiliate commissions. Six companies pretend to be 50 different brands. “No-logs” policies disappear when the FBI knocks. “Military-grade encryption” is marketing speak for technology your phone already has.

You probably don’t need a VPN. If you do, get Mullvad. They don’t pay me to say that - they don’t pay anyone. That’s the point.

Stop falling for marketing bullshit. Stop trusting YouTube sponsors. Stop believing companies that used to distribute malware suddenly care about your privacy.

The truth doesn’t pay $95 per sale. That’s why nobody tells it.

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-The Angry Dev
Still not sponsored by anyone

P.S. In my opinion, the truth about this industry needs to be told, regardless of the financial incentives to stay quiet.

P.P.S. Share this information and verify everything yourself.