Military-Grade Encryption and Other VPN Marketing Lies That Insult Your Intelligence

Spoiler alert: “Military-grade” just means AES-256 encryption. You know what else uses AES-256?

• WhatsApp
• Your banking app
• Your smart doorbell
• Literally every HTTPS website
• Your kid’s Nintendo Switch

It’s the same encryption your iPhone uses for iMessage, your browser uses for banking, and literally every HTTPS website has used since 2008. VPN companies make a big deal about encryption that’s already free and everywhere.

I’m not anti-VPN. They’re useful for specific purposes. But in my opinion, “military-grade encryption” is one of the most misleading marketing terms in tech because it preys on fear while describing something as standard as WiFi. It’s like McDonald’s advertising “military-grade beef” - technically true, completely meaningless.

The US military does use AES-256. So does Facebook. So does Po%$Hub. So does your grocery store’s website. It’s a 23-year-old standard that’s legally required for many applications and free to implement.

VPN companies know this. They also know “military-grade” sounds scarier and more valuable than “industry standard.” They’re betting you won’t realize you already have military-grade encryption on literally every device you own.

“Calling AES-256 ‘military-grade’ is like calling your Honda Civic ‘NASCAR-grade’ because both have wheels and an engine.”

Let me decode every encryption marketing lie they’re using to overcharge you.

⚡ 30-Second Truth Bomb

• “Military-grade” = AES-256 (same encryption EVERYONE uses)
• Your browser, WhatsApp, even Nintendo Switch use “military-grade”
• It’s 23-year-old technology, free, and legally required in many cases
• Nobody cracks encryption - they get data from the VPN company
• Bigger numbers (4096-bit!) don’t mean better security

”Military-Grade Encryption” - The Dumbest Misleading Term in Tech

Here’s what VPN marketing wants you to think:

Military-Grade = 
- Used by Navy SEALs
- Classified technology
- Superior protection
- Worth paying extra for

Here’s what it actually means:

Military-Grade = AES-256
That's it.
That's literally all it means.
The same encryption everyone uses.

The US military does use AES-256. You know who else does? EVERYONE.

It’s like advertising “military-grade oxygen” or “military-grade math.” The military uses the same encryption standard as Facebook, PornHub, and your grocery store’s website.

The AES-256 Reality Check

Let me explain what these marketing assholes won’t tell you:

What AES Actually Is:

• Advanced Encryption Standard
• Adopted in 2001 (23 years ago - practically ancient in tech)
• Used by literally everyone
• Free to implement
• Required by law for many applications

The “Unbreakable” Mythology:

VPN Marketing says: “It would take billions of years to crack!”

Reality: Nobody’s trying to crack your encryption. They’re just:

• Getting your data from the VPN company
• Using legal requests
• Exploiting implementation flaws
• Waiting for you to slip up

Here’s the math they love to quote:

Time to brute-force AES-256:
2^256 possible keys = 1.1 × 10^77 combinations
With all computers on Earth = 10^56 years

Cool story bro.

You know what’s faster than cracking AES-256?

• Sending a legal request to ExpressVPN (instant)
• Finding a bug in their app (common)
• Social engineering their support (trivial)
• Just watching your unencrypted DNS requests (lol)

The Encryption Marketing Bullshit Dictionary

”Bank-Level Security”

Translation: Also AES-256. The same as everyone else. Reality: Banks get hacked regularly. Not because of encryption.

”Unbreakable Encryption”

Translation: Standard AES that nobody bothers breaking Reality: They break YOU, not the encryption

”Military-Grade 4096-bit Encryption”

Translation: Mixing up AES with RSA key sizes to confuse you Reality: Meaningless number inflation

”Quantum-Resistant”

Translation: Still just regular AES Reality: Quantum computers aren’t breaking AES-256 anytime soon

”NSA-Proof”

Translation: Uses the encryption standard THE NSA HELPED CREATE Reality: The NSA doesn’t need to break encryption when they have backdoors

The OpenVPN Protocol Scam

VPNs love to brag about their “protocols”:

NordVPN: "We use OpenVPN with AES-256!"
ExpressVPN: "Our Lightway protocol with AES-256!"
Surfshark: "WireGuard with ChaCha20!"

Here’s what they’re actually saying: “We use the same open-source protocols everyone else uses, but we gave one a fancy name!”

Protocol Reality Check:

OpenVPN:

• 20+ years old
• Painfully slow
• Everyone uses it
• “Military-grade” (lol)

WireGuard:

• Actually modern
• 10x faster
• 1/10th the code
• They fought against adopting it for years

IKEv2:

• Also ancient
• Also standard
• Also “military-grade”
• Also meaningless

The Real Security Problems They Don’t Mention

While they’re obsessing over “military-grade encryption,” here’s what actually matters:

1. Implementation Flaws

Your “military-grade” VPN might:

• Leak your real IP
• Fail to encrypt DNS
• Store logs despite claims
• Have backdoors

2. The VPN Company Itself

They have:

• Your real IP address
• Your payment information
• Your traffic patterns
• Legal obligations to cooperate

3. Endpoint Security

Military-grade encryption doesn’t help when:

• Your device is compromised
• The VPN app has malware
• You’re logged into Facebook
• JavaScript fingerprinting identifies you

The Numbers Game They Play

Here’s how VPN marketing inflates numbers to impress idiots:

"Our 4096-bit encryption!"
(That's the RSA handshake, not the AES encryption)

"256-bit AES encryption!"
(Same as everyone else)

"ChaCha20-Poly1305!"
(Just a different standard algorithm)

"SHA512 authentication!"
(Literally just a hash function)

They’re counting on you not knowing that bigger numbers don’t mean better security.

What Actually Matters (And What Doesn’t)

Doesn’t Matter:

• ❌ “Military-grade” anything
• ❌ AES-256 vs AES-128 (both unbreakable)
• ❌ 2048-bit vs 4096-bit RSA (both fine)
• ❌ SHA256 vs SHA512 (irrelevant for VPNs)
• ❌ Marketing buzzwords

Actually Matters:

• ✅ Do they keep logs?
• ✅ Who owns them?
• ✅ Where are they based?
• ✅ Have they been audited?
• ✅ Do they have a warrant canary?

The Reddit Reality Check

“Is military-grade encryption actually special?”

Top comment: “It’s marketing bullshit. AES is AES. Your browser uses the same ‘military-grade’ encryption to load Reddit.”

“But NordVPN says it’s unbreakable!”

“So is the encryption on your Gmail. It’s not special.”

Even crypto nerds are tired of this marketing garbage.

🔍 Don’t Trust Me? Verify This Yourself

Want to see the raw data behind my claims? Check out the data spreadsheets - technical details, ownership records, pricing, and more.

1. Google “AES-256 adoption” - see it’s literally everywhere
2. Check your browser: Click padlock, view certificate (see AES-256)
3. Search “military grade encryption marketing bullshit”
4. Look up when AES was adopted: 2001 (not exactly cutting-edge)
5. Find any evidence of AES-256 being cracked (you won’t)

The Ultimate Test

You can test this yourself, encrypt a file with:

1. “Military-grade” NordVPN encryption
2. Free 7-Zip encryption
3. Built-in Windows BitLocker
4. GPG encryption from 1991

Result: They’re all using THE SAME FUCKING AES-256.

The only difference? NordVPN costs $11/month to tell you theirs is special.

What VPN Companies Should Actually Advertise

Instead of “military-grade encryption,” here’s what matters:

Honest advertising would be:

• “We use standard AES like everyone else”
• “We’ve been audited by [third party]”
• “We’ve never given data to authorities”
• “We’re not owned by a data company”
• “Here’s our warrant canary”

But that doesn’t sell subscriptions to paranoid users.

The Bottom Line

“Military-grade encryption” is meaningless. It’s like advertising “medical-grade water” or “aerospace-grade arithmetic.”

Everyone uses AES. Your bank, your email, your social media, your smart TV. It’s not special, it’s not exclusive, and it’s definitely not worth paying extra for.

Encryption isn’t your weak point. The VPN company’s trustworthiness is. Their logging policy is. Their ownership is. Their jurisdiction is.

Stop falling for marketing bullshit.

🧪 Test This Yourself

Prove “military-grade” is meaningless:

• Open any HTTPS site, check security details (same encryption as VPNs)
• Download 7-Zip (free), create encrypted file (congrats, military-grade!)
• Check your banking app encryption (spoiler: also AES-256)
• Google “VPN vulnerability” - notice it’s never about encryption
• Compare: Free GPG encryption vs $11/month VPN (identical AES-256)

-The Angry Dev Using civilian-grade common sense

P.S. In my opinion, ExpressVPN’s “proprietary Lightway protocol” is essentially WireGuard with modifications. I believe they’re all using similar technology with different marketing names.