Table of Contents
Full Disclosure: I make affiliate commissions from some VPNs:
- Mullvad: $0/sale (no affiliate program)
- Proton VPN: ~$25/sale
- NordVPN: ~$60/sale
Other VPNs pay WAY more but I reject them:
- ExpressVPN: ~$95/sale (I don’t recommend)
- CyberGhost: $135/sale (I don’t recommend)
- Surfshark, PIA, IPVanish and all the others (I don’t recommend)
My ranking:
- Mullvad ($0 commission) - Most private, accepts cash, open source
- Proton VPN (~$25 commission) - Free tier available, Swiss laws, legitimate
- NordVPN (~$60 commission) - has a shady past but has made amends and is good for streaming Netflix.
I rank Mullvad #1 despite making $0. That should tell you something about my priorities.
Integrity level: 6/10 - I could make 4x more lying to you, but I rank by actual privacy instead of payout.
Now, here’s what’s wrong with the VPN industry:
The VPN Industry Problem
The VPN industry generates $10 billion annually selling you protection from threats that don’t exist, using companies that used to distribute malware, with “privacy” that gets handed to the FBI on request.
Here’s what the $95-per-sale affiliate commission reviewers won’t tell you:
- 95% of VPN marketing is lies designed to exploit your privacy paranoia
- The biggest VPNs are owned by data mining companies that used to distribute malware
- “No-logs” policies are worthless - some VPNs still hand over data when asked
- “Military-grade encryption” is marketing bullshit for a 23-year-old free standard
- Most review sites are owned by the VPN companies they’re supposedly reviewing
Major VPN Companies With Documented Issues
These popular VPNs have consistent patterns of problems:
The Kape Technologies Empire (Ex-Malware Distributors)
- ExpressVPN - $100/year for ex-malware company “privacy”
- CyberGhost - Owned by company that allegedly distributed malware until 2018
- Private Internet Access - Same ownership as above
- ZenMate - Now part of CyberGhost empire
The NordSec Monopoly (Reformed But Still Monopolistic)
- NordVPN - Hid 2018 breach for 18 months, actually improved since (RAM servers, audits), still monopolistic with Surfshark
- Surfshark - NordVPN’s fake competitor (same company, different logo)
- Atlas VPN - Absorbed into Surfshark empire
The Ziff Davis Data Miners
- IPVanish - Caught logging when they claimed not to
- StrongVPN - Part of the same data mining conglomerate
- SaferVPN - Nothing safe about this ownership
How I Rank VPNs (My Standards)
I rank VPNs by actual privacy, not marketing claims or commission rates:
I rank Mullvad #1 despite $0 commission because:
- Open source (you can verify their claims)
- Proven no-logs via police raid - they found nothing
- Accepts cash for true anonymity
- No account required (just account number)
- If I were purely mercenary, I’d hide Mullvad and push $135 CyberGhost commissions
I rank Proton VPN #2 despite lower commission because:
- Swiss privacy laws actually mean something (vs BVI/Panama marketing)
- Free tier available (legitimately free, not trial bait)
- From ProtonMail team with proven track record
- Transparent operations and regular audits
- I make ~$25/sale, but ExpressVPN offers $95/sale (I reject it)
My ranking criteria:
- Verified no-logs policy (not just marketing claims)
- Trustworthy jurisdiction and ownership
- Open source and audited code where possible
- Actual privacy features (not marketing theater)
- Honest pricing (no lifetime scam deals)
I’m transparent about bias, but I rank by privacy instead of commission.
Better Alternatives Worth Considering
Mullvad - €5/month
- Privacy: Actually anonymous - accepts cash, no email required
- Verification: Proven no-logs via police raid
- Technology: Open source, WireGuard support
- Pricing: €5/month flat (no renewals, prepay what you use)
- Commission: $0/sale (no affiliate program)
Proton VPN - Free/$4.99/month
- Privacy: Swiss privacy laws that actually matter
- Free tier: Actually free (not trial bait), 3 countries, unlimited data
- Technology: Secure Core, Tor over VPN, NetShield
- Pricing: Free tier or $4.99/month (no price jumps)
- Commission: ~$25/sale
NordVPN - $5.99/month
- Privacy: Panama jurisdiction (mostly marketing), closed-source apps, 2018 breach hidden for 18+ months
- Free tier: None (7-day trial on Android only)
- Technology: NordLynx (WireGuard-based), Meshnet, Threat Protection Pro, Double VPN, Onion over VPN
- Pricing: $3.09/mo intro (2-year), renews at $12.99/mo (~319% increase)
- Commission: ~$60/sale
🔥 Industry Exposés: Deceptions & Dark History
ExpressVPN’s Malware Origins
Before ExpressVPN sold privacy, Kape Technologies (their parent company) distributed malware. CrossRider, the adware installer that became Kape, was banned from ad networks for malicious behavior. Now they own ExpressVPN, CyberGhost, PIA, and ZenMate.
Why it matters: Companies with histories of exploiting users don’t magically become privacy champions overnight.
NordVPN Breach: Hidden for 18 Months
In 2018, NordVPN was breached. They hid it for 18+ months before disclosure. To their credit, they’ve since implemented RAM-only servers, regular audits, and improved transparency. But the cover-up reveals a lot about “trust us” promises.
VPN Monopoly Map: Who Owns Who
Kape Technologies owns ExpressVPN, CyberGhost, PIA, and ZenMate. NordSec owns NordVPN, Surfshark, and Atlas VPN. Ziff Davis owns IPVanish, StrongVPN, and SaferVPN. When “competitors” compare themselves, they’re owned by the same company.
Fake competition = no incentive to actually protect your privacy.
PCMag’s VPN Conflict of Interest
PCMag reviews VPNs owned by their parent company (Ziff Davis). They rank IPVanish and StrongVPN highly while hiding the ownership. This is the same pattern as their cloud storage scam promotions.
🎭 The VPN Marketing Bullshit Decoded
”Military-Grade Encryption” Lies
The Marketing: Advanced military technology protects you! The Reality: AES-256 is a 23-year-old free standard your Gmail already uses The Truth: Even your smart toaster probably uses “military-grade encryption” - it’s meaningless marketing.
”Zero-Logs Policy” Lies
The Marketing: We keep absolutely no logs of your activity! The Reality: Many VPNs keep connection logs, payment info, and hand over data when asked The Truth: IPVanish and PureVPN were caught logging despite “no-logs” claims. Only police raids prove it—Mullvad passed the test.
”5-Eyes, 9-Eyes, 14-Eyes” Bullshit
The Marketing: Avoid US/UK VPNs! They spy on you! The Reality: BVI and Panama aren’t privacy havens - they’re tax havens with zero privacy protections The Truth: Swiss laws (Proton) actually protect you. BVI/Panama (ExpressVPN) just sound exotic for marketing.
”Lifetime Deals” Scams
The Marketing: Pay once, use forever! The Reality: Company disappears in 6-18 months with your money The Truth: Here’s the graveyard of “lifetime” VPN deals that died. StackSocial promotes these constantly.
”Unblock Any Streaming Service”
The Marketing: Watch Netflix, Hulu, BBC from anywhere! The Reality: Works until Netflix updates their blocking (happens constantly) The Truth: The cat and mouse game nobody wins - today’s working VPN is tomorrow’s blocked IP.
VPN Bullshit Glossary
A complete guide to decoding VPN marketing speak. “Military-grade,” “bank-level,” “zero-knowledge,” “warrant canary”—what these terms actually mean vs what they want you to think.
💰 The Affiliate Commission Corruption
Every “independent” VPN review is bought and paid for:
What the deceptive VPNs pay:
- ExpressVPN: ~$95/sale - Kape Technologies (ex-malware distributor) buys recommendations
- CyberGhost: $135/sale - Highest commission = always ranked #1 on “review” sites
- NordVPN: ~$60/sale - Hid breach for 18 months, still heavily promoted
What I actually do:
- Mullvad: $0 commission - rank #1 despite making nothing
- Proton VPN: ~$25/sale - rank #2, I make 75% less than ExpressVPN offers
- ExpressVPN: ~$95/sale - I reject and don’t recommend
The corruption:
- VPNMentor.com - Literally owned by Kape Technologies (ExpressVPN)
- PCMag reviews VPNs it owns - Ziff Davis owns both
- Most YouTube “reviews” - $95-135 commission per sale determines rankings
When a reviewer gets $135 for recommending CyberGhost vs $0 for telling you about Mullvad, guess what they recommend? I rank the $0 commission option first because I’m not completely corrupted (just partially).
📊 Individual VPN Reviews: Verified Testing
The Privacy Champions
- Mullvad VPN Review - €5/month, proven no-logs via police raid, accepts cash, no email required, open source
- ProtonVPN Review - Free tier available, Swiss privacy laws, from ProtonMail team, transparent operations
The Reformed (Proceed with Caution)
- NordVPN Review - Hid 2018 breach for 18 months, but improved with RAM servers and audits, good for Netflix
The Kape Empire (Avoid)
- ExpressVPN Review - $100/year for ex-malware company “privacy,” owned by Kape Technologies
🥊 Head-to-Head VPN Comparisons
When choosing between VPNs, these comparisons cut through the marketing:
Mullvad Comparisons (Privacy Focus):
- NordVPN vs Mullvad - Marketing vs actual privacy
ProtonVPN Comparisons:
- NordVPN vs ProtonVPN - Reformed player vs Swiss privacy
- ProtonVPN vs ExpressVPN - Legitimate privacy vs Kape ownership
NordVPN Comparisons (Popular but Problematic):
- NordVPN vs ExpressVPN - Reformed vs malware origins
- Surfshark vs NordVPN - Fake competition (same owner)
- NordVPN vs CyberGhost - NordSec vs Kape
- NordVPN vs IPVanish - NordSec vs Ziff Davis
- NordVPN vs PIA - Comparing two VPNs with checkered pasts
🎯 Practical VPN Guides
Do I Actually Need a VPN?
Real use cases (not marketing bullshit):
- Watching Netflix from other countries (cat and mouse game)
- Bypassing censorship in authoritarian countries
- Using public WiFi (though HTTPS handles most threats)
- Torrenting (if you’re into that)
Bullshit use cases the industry invented:
- “Protecting” you from your ISP (they’re already regulated by law)
- “Preventing” government surveillance (they’ll just ask the VPN for logs)
- “Securing” your banking (already encrypted with HTTPS)
- “Anonymous” browsing (your browser fingerprint betrays you anyway)
The truth: Most people don’t need a VPN for daily browsing. HTTPS already encrypts your traffic. VPNs are useful for specific use cases, not general “privacy.”
How to Cancel Your Shit VPN
Step-by-step guide to getting your money back from overpriced VPN subscriptions and switching to legitimate alternatives. Includes refund tricks and cancellation best practices.
Netflix vs VPNs: The Endless Cat and Mouse Game
VPNs that work today get blocked tomorrow. Netflix actively fights VPN usage. Here’s the reality of trying to watch content from other countries.
🔐 Related Security Tools
Antivirus Guides
- Antivirus with Free VPN Included - Which antivirus packages bundle VPNs (and whether they’re any good)
- Antivirus with Low CPU Usage - Lightweight antivirus that won’t slow down your system
📈 Industry Statistics
How Many People Use a VPN?
VPN adoption statistics, usage trends, and what the data reveals about why people actually use VPNs (spoiler: mostly for streaming, not privacy).
💡 The Bottom Line
Stop paying $100/year for privacy theater.
Here’s what you should actually do:
For Maximum Privacy
Read Mullvad Review - €5/month, accepts cash, proven no-logs via police raid. I make $0 from recommending them.
For Free VPN With Good Privacy
Read Proton VPN Review - Free tier available, Swiss laws, from ProtonMail team. I make ~$25/sale but rank by privacy not commission.
To Escape Your Current VPN
Read Cancellation Guide - How to get your money back and switch to something legitimate.
Legal Note: This article contains both documented facts (linked to sources) and my personal opinions based on those facts. All opinions are clearly marked as such.
Ready to dive deeper? Browse our complete exposés below to see exactly how each VPN company operates.